If the training paddock is a tough place to allow silence to fall, game day is a Mario Bros big boss with lava flying around, and a rogue Yoshi making life hard.

Last essay we looked at noticing (and how stillness might help coaches) during training. Now we turn to crunch time. Stillness was still very much on my mind as I moved into the first game days of the season. They were graduated quite nicely: first, an opposed training session with an external quality side, and then an evening game at home to test some theories, player and coach alike.

It’s easy to feel the five-minute unbroken observation we squeeze in on a Tuesday night vanishes the moment the whistle blows. Everything has a sense of urgency: it’s noisy, athletes are in a different state, and there’s a win on the line. You have your match-day squad to support, an opposition constantly trying to pull your structures apart, and a referee whose split-second interpretations dictate the rhythm of the afternoon. It’s normally at this point in the week I wish I could see from multiple perspectives at once (an excellent superpower wish, I will say).

For me, the sheer volume of energy and match-day noise used to translate into pacing the technical area or sideline (if you can get away with it). I’m sure at my first coaching club there’s still a rut in the earth where I eroded the soil on a weekly basis.

Then an old injury flared and pacing was no longer an option. Something weird happened: I noticed my thoughts were slower during a game. Now it could have been the painkillers acting as a sedative, but I preferred the thinking. I had cleaner messages as I was passing them through another player, and had less time as the team came to me to huddle up.

Once I was back and free to pace, I went right back to a high step count, high thought count, and decided it had to go.

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The quiet is in the story

A well-known technique - but one that can feel close to madness for the person muttering to themselves on the sideline - is narrating the game. It sharpens my match-day coaching threefold…

First, it allows for sharper pattern recognition. If you catch yourself saying a similar sentence a few times across a half, you notice the trend rather than an isolated mistake. I find it helps to switch between narrating only the team with the ball or only the team without it, never trying to do both at the same time.

It also zooms you out. A missed tackle reveals itself as an issue of poor field-spanning in the kick chase three phases earlier, because having a continuous story line anchors the game in a series rather than disconnected moments.

Finally, narration creates a layer of healthy detachment from the live action. I’ve never really been one to get caught up in the drama of a game day, but I certainly feel the nerves and tension rise right alongside the teams and the crowd. Running an internal commentary allows the game to unfold a little further away, turning the emotional noise into a sequence of decisions to be assessed.

I have even worn a microphone once or twice during a game and played the audio track back alongside the Veo footage in my review. It is a brilliant way to audit what you actually saw in real time, though you have to be prepared to wonder what on earth you were looking at in the heat of the moment.

Send less ripples

I think my pacing also had another consequence, in the same way my approach today does now: your players take their cues from you. Pacing will only ever be read as irritated, annoyed, or not centred in some way, in the same way leg bouncing is known as anxious or tapping points to discomfort. A rugby team co-regulates, a bench co-regulates, and you are a part of it. Holding the ship level is your role.

The energy we project from the technical area ripples directly into others. One of the most helpful models here for me is Yuri Hanin’s Individual Zones of Optimal Functioning (IZOF). The fly-by version is that every athlete has a distinct emotional and physiological bandwidth where their decision-making and skill execution thrive. Too hot or too cold, and the performance outcome is affected. My personal observation is that we can all influence each other’s state of readiness, meaning we must build game-day environments that create respect for these states (and their differences).

When we panic, pace, and react to every breakdown, our own visible anxiety drags players straight out of their zones, meaning they have to spend more energy (and require the knowledge) to bring themselves into optimal again. Having one eye on the energies around the coaching and playing groups, and encouraging understanding and awareness, will be key to managing match days.

Stillness offers less ripples, less disturbance (but not less care); regulating the emotional climate and meeting them with curiosity rather than more noise.

Regulating players through focus & questions

You can probably notice when a player gets caught in a loop (the repeating thought which provides comfort to a dysregulated brain). They tend to be commenting on a specific action from the game, or maybe a referee’s decision-making around one area of the game. They are no longer present; they’re playing history instead.

To guide them through to the present, John Whitmore’s GROW model becomes my friend, deliberately keeping our dialogue rooted in the ‘Reality’ phase:

• “What are you noticing out there?”

• “How does that picture feel to you around [X area of the game]?”

• “What do you think is our opportunity now?”

Players maintain agency, and you widen the scope of their noticing, through future-focused action. It pulls their emotional focus away from external uncontrollable and gently redirects their awareness back to their own senses, their own decisions, and their own teammates.

Half-time might be positively negative

Negative space becomes crucial at half-time. Coaches and the bench have had the luxury of standing still, regulating, and having choice and space to think for 40 minutes; the 15 on the field have not.

Look around sport and you will find hundreds of examples of players saying, ‘We told the coach we needed three minutes before anyone spoke,’ ‘We spent the first five in silence,’ or ‘We had just left it all on the field and needed time to regather.’

This might go against our instincts, but we must respect the brainpower available to us:

• Give them reboot time. A great time to pass round drinks and take stock of who’s in a hole. Read your players and respond in a considered way.

• Use smart brevity. Huddles should be practiced in training. Athletes will have opinions and things to say; having them well-versed in communicating effectively helps. In training, if someone gives a rambling point, follow it with the question: ‘On a game day, when brain space is precious, how would you communicate that point?’

• Target your input. When considering your own input, filter it: who actually needs this piece of information, and can they use it right now? If not, keep it in post-match.

Really, what we’re saying is match-day noticing doesn’t demand an answer for every phase of play. It asks instead for the composure to stay present, place a filter over the noise, and protect the space where impact happens.

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Core Focus of the Research

• The C.A.R.D.S. Framework: Explores how the Newcastle Falcons Academy operationalizes an acronym standing for Creativity, Awareness, Resilience, Decision-making, and Self-organisation.

• Practice Design: Details real-world, constrained training activities meant to mirror the unpredictable, chaotic nature of professional rugby union. [

• Match-Realistic Constraints: Explains structuring training pauses, sub-unit drills (like 1v1, 3v3, or 5v5 scrums/restarts), and video reflection around actual match-play metrics to build cognitive and physical resilience

Notes from Café:

· Took a while to read through because it kept sparking back to own practice

· Academic but easily applies to coaching practice

· Reflect own coaching nar…

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Following the success of the Summer of learning….here comes the Winter webinars!

Join the Winter webinars with 3 rockstar acts! I’m excited to announce 3 webinars on topics to help your coaching practice and team. Becky Skeen, Andrew Brownhill and Jo Phillips are joining us to chat about coaching practice, reflections and mental fitness.

On 1st November, Becky Skeen joins me to discuss ‘Developing reflections with doodling’. It’s all about ways to reflect and include sketches and doodles in your practice…no drawing expertise needed! Struggling with your coaching reflections, this one is for you.

Register here to join us for ‘Developing reflections with doodling’

On 6th December, Australia based coach Andrew Brownhill joins us to discuss player-coach relationships. ‘Building connections with players’ will look at ways to connect with players and tools for your coaching

Register here to join us for ‘Building connections with players’

On 17th January, Jo Phillips joins us to discuss mental fitness in players and coaches. Jo is a speaker for mental health charity State of Mind. Jo will speak about her experiences within sport and discuss tools for players and coaches.

Register here to join us for ‘Mental fitness for players and coaches’

Each webinar will be held on Zoom. There are registration links for all 3 are above (You’ll also get some reminders to register ahead of each webinar). The webinars are available for subscribers and non-subscribers alike.

The recording will be available afterwards for paid subscribers and members.

Join in, bring your questions, get ready to boost your practice!

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I am beginning to think coaching is its own constraint based game. There are endless rules & systems to expose athletes to, and we are trying to do it all in a constant race against sun-baked ground, player availability, and every other challenge we stand before. We make thousands of decisions about what to prioritize - what to intervene on.

So much so, that sometimes I wish I had picked a sport with less moving parts, athletics maybe, where we guide one athlete through their day or darts, where there is less at play to watch. This essay explores what it means to ‘notice’ on a training field, and why it’s a skill which needs conscious development in coaches of all kinds.

Now, a word to the side before we begin…Coaching faces a new dilemma. While data is an embedded part of our game (thanks money ball), AI pitches new levels of gadget and gizmos; all offering to offload some of our noticing into cold hard stats. A tempting prospect which should be considered in full before it’s a route we travel down.

Now, coaching is a three step when we consider train field coaching. A never ending cycle of interpreting, prioritizing, and intervening. In doing so, we place the spotlight on our baseline ability to notice. If we fail to spot that our fly-half is approaching the game without kicking, we won’t prioritise what’s going on & it will result in a missed intervention. If we don’t notice, we won’t coach.

Recently, someone asked me what I look at in sessions, essentially asking what my framework for noticing was. I greeted the paradox like an old friend (thanks Brené Brown). Frameworks (while useful and to be celebrated) can be rigid, linear, and prescribed; placing blinkers on as we go through a model. I reflected that noticing asks of us a different approach. It requires wayfaring: a willingness to drift, to let go of the checklist, and to respond to the session as it unfolds. The paradox being that the more tightly we cling to a rigid model of what we expect to see, the more we develop blind-spots. The aim is less solving the paradox and more holding the tension.

Bias

The balance is made harder by the way coaches arrive with a history, a bias. For at least sections of the game, they will sit within Martin Broadwell’s unconscious competence step of mastery (image below). Here, observation has become intuitive. For example, I called lineouts in my playing career, I now see where the opposition are likely to throw to without much internal struggle. Critical as a player, but as a coach? I now have to catch that feeling and then explore what it is exactly that I am reading, to enable me to coach it. Actively dredging up why I know that in order to explain it to someone else. A part of my history which changes how I approach problems.

When considering my frameworks for noticing, I lean instead on a different model. I use an intentional filter for each session. If the group is focusing on attack, the bulk of my attention sits in that domain; defensively, players might receive far less feedback in that session. As long as the curriculum is balanced over time, players will develop rounded and smoothly.

At the same time, I am holding Individual Development Plans (IDPs) in my peripheral vision. I will happily pull my attention away from our primary theme if a develop moment pops up right in front of me for an athlete working on a specific personal goal. In my setting, we share these IDPs, so I only have a small number to notice.

Present & Correct

Now, I mentioned noticing sits under coaching as a base skill, but if we ask what skill is behind that again (Sakichi Toyoda’s ‘five whys’) To notice any of this, we have to be present enough to see. We have to learn how to stand amongst the patterns.

Intervention makes us feel useful. But every time we rush to provide an immediate solution, we stop players recognising the consequence in real time too (which is the only feedback they would have on the pitch), we must balance allowing them to experience the environmental feedback, with wanting to accelerate their learning.

Stillness

I have been in Premiership offices while people tear about the place, it’s a normal part of the language. Sport moves quickly, so it’s easy to get picked up in the speed. Instead I’d challenge you to go to one of the top restaurants in the country at service time and see what you can spot. Dinner is game time for chefs. If you’ve gone to a good enough restaurant you will see stillness (the french laundry’s chefs table on Netflix works well if you’re intrigued, without the price tag of fine-dining).

As a chef, you know it’s going well if you put a plate down too loudly & the whole dining room turns towards you. Everything is set up to notice the details of the plate before you. Maybe rugby can take a noticing leaf from a brigade.

Observation is not a waiting to give instruction. It is an active discipline. It is stepping back from the chaos and resisting the urge to jump in, so the pitch can reveal the lesson. In the dining room, it looks a little different. Negative space on a plate: the space on a plate with nothing allows a dish to look cohesive (imagine the elements on the below plate all plated smushed together). There’s a calmness to the plate that comes from the gaps; it allows the diner to see the elements and understand the dish far better than if it were one solid mass.

Stillness on the training field is our negative space. It gives the session its clarity. A tool to be chosen, just like ‘pause’ ‘replay’ & questioning. When we stop filling every second with interventions, we give our athletes the room to feel the consequences, make the mistakes, and create their own understanding. They get to wayfare too.

Our ability to consciously tune in to noticing is key to increasing the quality of the information we work from. Betting information means better action. But how does that ability to be still survive when the pressure multiplies, the pace accelerates, and the stakes shift to a game day?

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Did you know there’s now coach memberships? There’s 3 tiers for coaches (or anyone who wants to support the work and wants support), there’s also a special tier for clubs and W&Gs sections. There’s a coaching hotline, access to webinar recordings, and monthly mentoring. Memberships start from £5 a month.

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The first Coaching Care Creativity Cafe is on the 6th September.

Join other coaches and discuss your thoughts about some research called: ‘Building a House of C.A.R.D.S.: The Practice Structures of Coaches in a Professional Rugby Union Academy’

A quick insight into the paper:

“Each season, we set out to create opportunities for every player in the Newcastle Falcons Academy to explore the boundaries of their capabilities and adapt to the changing nature of the game of rugby union by developing creativity, awareness, resilience, decision-making and self-organisation (C.A.R.D.S.) skills (England Rugby, 2017) . In this section, we provide real-world examples from the Academy setting of how we structure training activities with the aim of developing C.A.R.D.S. Being constrained by space, we are unable to give exhaustive coverage to our practice structures, but the examples offer a glimpse into how we coach and to how the individual C.A.R.D.S. skills are strongly interrelated.”

Sign ups to the cafe get the reading sent out beforehand. The cafe call is a chance to chat with fellow coaches about the ideas and topics.

Each cafe entry is £5. Discounted entry (£3.99) is for paid subscribers and members

Sign up to the Sept cafe here

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It’s my Dad’s Birthday today, and mine tomorrow. For those that know me, you’ll know my Dad is pretty important to me.

He’s one of the main reasons I’m a coach. Some of my earliest memories are going to matches with him and watching rugby (the All Blacks specifically) on TV.

Next week I’m on a short break from publishing content, but don’t worry I’ll be back on the 24th August. The break is needed partially because it’s the birthday/celebration week (my parent’s anniversary is also in a few days).

It’s also because I’m knee deep in finishing the DProf thesis, and a reminder that it’s important to take a break (especially following Stuart Edward’s article on coach’s mental health that went out earlier this week)

It’s also important to stop and take stock of all the work that’s been done so far. There’s been 28 podcast episodes and over 300 articles published.

I’ve recently added to this and have launched some memberships for coaches and added the cafe - think book club but for coaches!

I couldn’t have done any of this without all of you. I always think of how we can build this community, lift each other up, share ideas and problems.

The whatsapp networks are amazing and it’s a privilege to share that space with you all. The Women+ Coach Network has over 71 members currently and the subscriber/coach group is growing. Regardless of how many members there are in each chat sharing a space and seeing people connect with each other is what it’s all about.

I’m aware there’s a lot of resources and past articles for people to dig into, and I’m working on ways to make accessing this content easier. For now, I’ve organised the website and there’s tabs at the top of the page to help you locate topics.

There’s been a lot of ‘pinch me’ moments of the self employed life so far…putting together an exclusive delegation for the Crusaders Leadership Programme is one of them.

There will be some of you that know I can also be quite harsh on myself. My inner saboteur can be mean. I’m not doing enough or earning enough. What if I fail? I’m getting better at telling that voice to go away, but it takes practice.

The same voice often crops up after a coaching session to try and tell me the session I just ran was rubbish. I mentioned this in the recent webinar with Rusty. I often listen to players’ feedback or message someone in my coaching support network after to chat through some reflections.

So here’s to being kind to ourselves, taking breaks, digging through our archives to remind ourselves of cool ideas…and Happy Birthday Dad

Did you know there’s now coach memberships? There’s 3 tiers for coaches (or anyone who wants to support the work and wants support), there’s also a special tier for clubs and W&Gs sections. There’s a coaching hotline, access to webinar recordings, and monthly mentoring. Memberships start from £5 a month.

Check out the memberships

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Quick reminder that all summer series webinars are free and accessible to everyone (subscribers and non-subscribers), any recordings are available to paid subscribers.

Here’s some shares from Rusty based on the chat:

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I’m the Head Coach of the Finland Men’s National Rugby Team, founder of the Coach Wellbeing Initiative, and recently completed a First-Class Honours degree in Rugby Coaching and Performance. My research has focused on understanding the pressures experienced by rugby union coaches and how we can better support their wellbeing and long-term performance.

Did you know there’s now coach memberships? There’s 3 tiers for coaches (or anyone who wants to support the work and wants support), there’s also a special tier for clubs and W&Gs sections. There’s a coaching hotline, access to webinar recordings, and monthly mentoring. Memberships start from £5 a month.

Check out the memberships

Buy Jess a coffee to support the work

The cumulative pressures of coach

My work explored the experiences of rugby union coaches across all levels of the game, from grassroots through to international rugby. Rather than focusing solely on performance, I wanted to understand the human side of coaching, what creates pressure, how coaches experience stress, and what support systems currently exist.

The aim was to provide evidence that can help organisations create healthier, more sustainable coaching environments.

This research began with my own lived experience. As someone who was passionate about learning and developing as a coach, I experienced both the positive impact of good support and the frustration of opportunities that didn’t always feel accessible or constructive. Those experiences sparked a simple question: were other coaches experiencing similar challenges?

That question ultimately became the foundation of my research. I wanted to move beyond individual experiences and explore the issue objectively, using evidence to understand the realities of coaching and identify ways the profession can better support those working within it.

One of the clearest themes was that coaching is far more demanding than many people realise. The pressures rarely come from one source; they’re cumulative and include performance expectations, organisational demands, relationships, uncertainty and the emotional responsibility of leading other people.

Environments and organisations

While many organisations are making positive progress, the research also highlighted opportunities to strengthen the support available to coaches across the game.

Coaching has evolved significantly over the last decade. Expectations continue to increase, but the systems designed to support coaches haven’t always evolved at the same pace.

Coaches often work in environments where they feel responsible for everyone else, making it difficult to prioritise their own wellbeing. I think that’s why these themes appeared so consistently across different levels of rugby.

Perhaps the biggest surprise was not that coaches experience pressure, that was expected, but how consistently similar experiences were described regardless of coaching level.

Whether someone coached community rugby or international rugby, many of the underlying challenges were remarkably similar.

That suggests this isn’t an issue confined to one level of the game but something that deserves broader attention across rugby.

What’s next?

I’d like to see coach wellbeing become a normal part of coach development rather than something discussed only when people are struggling. Supporting coaches shouldn’t be viewed as separate from performance, it should be recognised as one of the foundations of sustainable, high-performing environments.

If we invest in the wellbeing and development of coaches, everyone benefits, including players, clubs and the wider game.

If there’s one message, I’d leave people with, it’s that coaches are people before they are coaches. We often ask them to lead, support and inspire others while carrying significant pressures of their own.

Looking after coach wellbeing isn’t simply about reducing stress, it’s about enabling coaches to perform at their best, develop others effectively and enjoy longer, healthier careers.

I’m continuing to build on this work through further research, practical projects and collaboration with organisations that are committed to improving coaching environments.

My focus is on translating research into practical solutions that can help coaches, organisations and governing bodies create healthier, more sustainable coaching cultures.

My hope is that this research helps continue an important conversation and encourages the coaching profession to recognise that supporting the person behind the coach is just as important as developing the coach themselves.

Stuart’s book: The Invisible Load: Stress, Pressure, Wellbeing and Sustainable Coaching in Rugby Union, is out now. Check it out via Amazon

What to support yourself or support me?

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The cafe is open! I’ve been working on this for a while, so I’m very excited!

Think of it as a digital seminar class/book club/cafe. Each time we meet we’ll discuss a different material (video, academic paper, article, podcast etc!). The aim is to share our reflections on the material and for it to be a starting point for discussion.

The sessions will run once a month in multi-month blocks, on Sunday evenings (hopefully to suit everyone’s schedules - but if you can’t attend but have paid - notes will be sent out after)

Each session’s material will be sent out ahead of time. Please buy a coffee to enter the cafe and receive instructions/materials.

I’ve really excited about this as it’s an opportunity for us to engage with some material and then explore it together.

Timings and topics:

Year 1 will be 2 blocks:

Block 1: Sept - Dec

Block 2: Feb - May

Topics include: coaching craft, coaching the black ferns, coaching contact in female rugby, experiences of female coaches and learning for clubs.

The cafe is open to anyone, but aimed at coaches. I’ve tried to make the costs as inclusive as possible, with a range of discounts for paid subscribers and members, and a cafe membership tier.

The first two topics of block 1 are:

6th Sept, 7pm - Exploring a way of coaching: paper called Building a House of C.A.R.D.S.: The Practice Structures of Coaches in a Professional Rugby Union Academy

4th Oct, 7pm - Coaching All Blacks and Black Ferns: podcast called How Wayne Smith Built the All Blacks, Crusaders & Black Ferns Into Winning Cultures

Costs:

• The standard cost of the cafe is £5 per session

• There is a special membership tier set up. The Cafe tier gets webinar recordings and access to the cafe at £10 per month or £80 per year

• Members of get discounted entry: £3.99 per cafe

• Paid subscribers of the Substack Coaching Care Creativity get discounted entry: £3.99 per cafe

If you are unable to attend the cafe, but have paid for a month’s session: notes/recordings will be sent out afterwards.

The first session will be on the 6th Sept and will explore coaching craft, specifically ways of coaching/using games and scenarios in training.

To sign up click the links above or go straight to the shop

(If you’re a Catalyst member, Compass member, or paid subscriber a discount code and link will be sent to you)

Sign up at the shop

In this episode of Challenging the Game, Jess speaks to Amelia Doxey, brand manager and sports bra fitter for Boobydoo. They chat about the sports bra education for all ages, what clubs should include in an information pack, support for coaches and their new sports bra advocate course.

The Boobydoo sports bra advocate course is open to all club staff members, coaches, volunteers who are interested in learning more about sports bras to create a better and inclusive environment for the players.

Jess Bunyard is a Affiliate of the Sports Bra course. Sign up to the course via her affiliate link and get 15% off the course. Use the code JES15BAD and click here

Subscribe to Coaching Care Creativity, a newsletter and site for coaching, for coaching women’s rugby, for coaching with care and creativity

Music: TVARI - Tokyo Cafe

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Did you know there’s now coach memberships? There’s 3 tiers for coaches (or anyone who wants to support the work and wants support), there’s also a special tier for clubs and W&Gs sections. There’s a coaching hotline, access to webinar recordings, and monthly mentoring. Memberships start from £5 a month.

Check out the memberships

Buy Jess a coffee to support the work

How do we prime players about our coaching style?

What information do we give them and why?

Coaching is relational. Yes there are technical and tactical aspects, but those don’t happen without social connection.

I’ve often discussed that people will come to training with perceptions of what the environment and the sport might be like. This might be influenced by a range of things including: any previous coaching or sporting experience and clips they see on social media.

A previous article explored perceptions of coaching, including how gender stereotypes can impact this:

As well as you getting to know the players, it’s important that they get to know you. This includes some insight into your coaching style. This is also not just a process that is important at the beginning of the season or the first time coaching a group.

So what do you say and how do you say it? Let’s explore…

I like to briefly mention my coaching style or how I approach things. It doesn’t require a speech or essay. When coaching players for the first time and there’s time for a very brief introduction, I’ll give a quick insight into what to expect.

This might contain an explanation into my coaching style including when I might give interactions or not. I’ve found it’s often more important to raise awareness of the absences or the lack of non verbal communication.

Explanation might sound something like:

“My style is not to give all the answers, so sometimes I will make some space for you all to solve it. That means sometimes I’ll talk and sometimes I will be quiet.”

“I like to give you all some problems to solve, that means sometimes you might feel a little frustrated, but it’s part of learning to solve problems which you also have to do in a match.”

With teams that I’ve coached for a while, I will often mention when there might be a shift in coaching. This might be a change in approach for a few sessions or an escalation.

This change might be through my own coach development:

“As part of my learning, I’ll be trying some different ways of coaching in the next few weeks. I’ll be aiming to have more 1-2-1 chats with people during activities.”

“I’m aiming to have more 1-2-1 chats with people during games today. I’ve set myself a target to have 4 1-2-1 chats with you all.”

This change could also be prompted by the team’s growth:

“We’ve been doing really well, so we’re moving up a level in our training sessions. This means you can expect more challenges and maybe a bit of extra sneakiness from me to test our problem solving.”

Sharing some insight into the coaching style can help create some understanding and clarity about training. Sharing what challenges you’ve set yourself can also help make players feel a part of your learning process. This can help everyone, but especially those who might have some nerves about training or about a new coach.

These phrases are similar to ones I have used. Like finding your own coaching style, introducing yourself and your coaching is an organic process.

The aim is for your players to get to know you a little better, without sitting them down for a lecture on coaching philosophy.

What to support yourself or support me?

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The Beginning

It does not take long in the coaching realm to find a discussion on values, or more specifically, an exercise on values. Sitting within the ‘understanding self’ - part of the ‘understanding self, understanding others, understanding the game’ trilogy - it’s value (you’re welcome) it’s not up for debate. My values shape how I see the world, and therefore what I naturally encourage in my presence, which in turn affects how I approach my coaching craft.

Now, ‘understanding self’ is more frequently framed as self-awareness. Self-awareness is presented as a process, a journey on the way to mastery of holding a better perspective.

The same is not true for values work, despite the comparisons in the work. Instead, this is often delivered more binary; as if fixed in space and time, more of an innate compass, waiting to be labelled.

Most of us, as coaches, will have engaged in CPD which asks us to circle our values on a list and weave them into our coaching philosophy. Some will have been asked to list our values (with reflection).

Better workshops may ask us to debate with others what values we think are most important of a list - this at least creates dialogue and debate. I have even seen exercises list statements (like ’doping should be allowed in sport’ and then, in a magazine flow chart style to convert said statements into prescribed values (autonomy vs cohesion).

It’s like ‘What care-bear are you?’ but for coaches.

A word on words

Firstly, these are often words not naturally in my vocabulary. You won’t catch me using the word ‘openness’ but arguably it does describe the way I appreciate people who embrace learning. As it doesn’t sit in my natural word deck, it fades from my mind quickly.

To help with this, once I did these exercises. I have started explaining them out loud to a critical friend (or my long suffering partner). In the explanation, I’d often find more naturally aligning words, which more effectively sat in my brain. A step forward. A step which sits in Seth Godin’s sentiment “you talk to find your voice, you don’t define your voice to start talking”.

Using words within easy reach of my brain helped, but I was sitting recently in one such CPD trying to recall what I had said the last time I was in such a room and decided there must be a better way. I didn’t want to have a list of values to talk about, I wanted them to walk the walk.

You can be other things

Another step forward for me happened when I stopped trying to capture all of me in a list of three. Maybe this is obvious to the rest of the world but having failed more concussion baselines than I care to count I knew a list of 6-8 values was not for me. I am however, human, and a complicated one at that; capturing all I value in 3 words prevented me from capturing any of it.

Once I stopped trying, and accepted I could value plenty more outside the list, I found the process a lot less stressful. To decide what was included I went with frequency items, what governed most decisions I make most as a human? (spoiler; it’s almost always which path holds more learning opportunities).

Now my coaching philosophy for the longest time has been joy and puzzles. I make sure I create the opportunity for both in every session, or room I contribute too.

Yes, I have some possible solutions, but really I should be setting really good puzzles, and nothing is worth going after without Joy. It does not demonstrate all I am as a coach, nor all I value in session design, but it does help me evaluate sessions, and helps co-coaches know me and how I function.

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Experiment 626; stitch-ing values into action

Still, I felt there was more to be done. Even with the extra steps, the values work still felt abstract. I had no proof they were present, or correct, in my day to day.

Which led me to think about how I could more closely align my values to action. Yes, I could ask my players, but again, I’d face a different word deck, and I am the only person with a complete picture of me (minus the occasional blind spot).

At this point, I posited a question to myself. Scientists test theories all the time: What if we thought of the values we generate at the end of these CPD sessions as a hypothesis?

Take yourself back to school science. You make a prediction, construct a test, and see if what you expect actually happens on the ground. Then, you reflect deeply on what resulted in the difference. Maybe we could encourage the exact same discipline in coaching.

Curious to see if I was right about myself (whilst fully acknowledging my own confirmation bias) I decided to see if I could prove they walked the walk. Here opens the experiment on values that live on the grass: Project Walking Values.

The starting point:

Tracing back my actions directly through my reflections. Part two will include my experiments and how I want to test my prediction.

The values I started with:

Joy, Intentionality, community.

These values are made for walking

I started by noticing a shift in how we label self-awareness as a constant lived process, and values work as coaches.

This more often looked like a labelling workshop which we then just continued along our way with. Above, in the first part, I explored this difference and I laid the challenge to myself to explore it more actively. What follows is that exploration.

It is important here to stipulate: this is an experiment of my coaching values - the experiments would look different for an environment’s values (pt 3 pending?).

I had a starting point of joy, intentionality and community. These values had come about from repeated classroom sessions reflecting on my values, but between these sessions I rarely reflected on them, and almost never recalled them without checking my notes.

The walking values project was to change that abstraction. To fold and make my values visible every day, be extracting them from evidence, rather than selecting them from a sheet.

First, I looked to use words which were my own. It’s tough to remember language you don’t reach for every day. Then, I stopped trying to fit all my values into the words I labelled. I gave myself the grace to be other things also.

Third, I decided to find the values from the data, rather than a printed list in front of me. I love to run experiments in my coaching, trying different approaches and ways of adapting, so project walking values was born. Part two follows the experiments I went through and the values which got spat out.

A word deck to suit

Firstly, to ensure I was allowing myself to spot relevant values - not just the three I was looking for - I built a values list which came from me; my word deck, rooted in my knowledge. I went for a diametrically opposed process, when I wrote ‘curious’ I wrote ‘decisive’ next, I tried to balance all words to allow for both sides of the scale. While there are infinite ways to describe what we do, I wanted a rigorous framework to look at and bounce off of, aiming for a truly comprehensive list.

Now, I started this entire process with Joy, Intentionality, and Community. But I immediately struggled to think of a clear, non-abstract way these words would actually show up on a pitch.

That friction forced me to transmute my values into doing words:

Joy became joyful actions, Community became connecting, and Intentionality became detailed (then concise), deliberate delivery through actions I could spot in data.

Next, I utilized Artificial Intelligence (Gemini, as I am a self-confessed Google fiend) to stress-test a different iteration, backed by the sciences of psychology, pedagogy, and coaching, I asked it to provide a list of values not covered by this list which you may find in a coach. Also explicitly asking that it did not assign a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ to any value.

What it produced was useful to check and challenge my own thinking. (I often find AIs role most useful when playing devil’s advocate, as then you cover a completely different view to your own).

What came out were 16 values, and my own definition of them, which I believe are present in coaching craft:

As I am fully aware there is some rogue application of words in this initial set, these definitions were vital to keep me grounded.

Experiment 1 - Notebooks are receipts

I, like many, have a habit of keeping coaching journals. My immediate reflections on sessions are often not detailed enough. So they are backed by a mandatory weekly date with my notebooks, where I write freely about my practice. It might cover how a session left me feeling, what specific friction I faced, and where the plan went sideways. It has left me with a growing library of personal data.

For the first test, I went back through months of my own work. Every single time I saw clear text evidence of one of the 16 behaviors, I tallied it. After all, the notebooks show where my attention is, and ‘where attention goes, energy flows’ (James Redfield and the Makia principle).

Next, I noticed through my entries that when I moved more towards the value of curiosity, I was far less prescribed in my approach.

Curious would look like solving an athletes dilemma together, prescriptive would look like I am searching for prepared coaching points to add to the space.

To help acknowledge this, I shifted the list into two columns, indicating the scales:

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Experiment 2 - Video is the critical friend

Next, I utilised another tool at my disposal, and gulped as I did, I am trying to develop the habit of watching & hearing myself coach. I say trying because, frankly, hearing my own voice on tape gives me the “ick” more than I care to admit. As a result, I have plenty of chest cam footage clogging up my computer storage.

So, I booted up the laptop and watched it once again. This time, noticing when I presented my values. This was not easy - much cringe was endured.

Everytime I noticed it I marked it on the tally, making notes to add some depth (including writing different values and seeing if they were a more applicable value to explore). Slowly racking up reps of walking the walk of my value.

I also have access to SAM at the moment through coach logic - an AI tool to categorise coaching interactions - it was surprisingly helpful to review specific tools, such as what kinds of questions I ask, which revealed I might impose more than I am responsive.

It was during this video review that the word deck underwent a shift.

First, Autonomous officially became Controlling. Watching the tape, I struggled to choose whether a behavior pointed to autonomy or liberation.

My original definition (‘holding the reins of control myself’) didn’t match autonomy well. It was more about keeping the chaos down by keeping myself at the wheel, or Controlling; which balanced perfectly against Connecting.

Second, Concise changed to Focus, because I realized that keeping an intervention short doesn’t automatically mean you hit the developmental sweet spot.

Experiment 3 - Valuing a new habit

Now, one of my aims amongst this was to get better at working more actively with my values. To do so it needed continuous practice.

I printed out the two-column value scales onto small pocket sized tables (altering Joy to Celebrate - as it more accurately labelled what action I displayed). I do my hot reflections in field notes A6, books.

At the end of sessions, I began drawing a line marking where my behavior fell along each spectrum that night. Some sessions leaned toward one value, sometimes another.

For example, I would sit high towards Liberating in a session about finding confidence coming into the pre-season. Other times the session required me to be unapologetically Regulating - showing the way.

I also started writing my values in the corner of my pitch side notebook - and tallying the example. This helps me notice whether I’m aligned today. Below you will see a recent version. It is very quick (though some sessions it’s less used than others!).

Challenge is low in this example, but I am learning a new group, so I this value might not be actioned while I prioritise learning their languages and the values of the group.

Funnily enough, I began to realize that the values I actively lived had a massive tendency to morph whenever I was under stress. Whether it was a lack of sleep, too many hours driven on the motorway, or simply being irritated like a mutant alien dropped on a desert island without a high human population. More evidence I am not one thing.

Eventually, after tracking across many sessions, the patterns emerged. Three repeat heavyweights arrived as the consistent pillars of my actual, lived practice:

Celebrate, Curious, and Challenging.

Approaching problems curiously, celebrating people, and challenging for improvement.

These values were made for walking

So, was the cringe worth it?
100% - I have my three values written in my coaching notebooks and on my session plans. They’re used when I introduce myself to a new group:

“Hi folks, I’m Amy, I know I am new to you and everyone coaches differently so what you will see from me

1. I love to celebrate skill, sometimes I might add a score to a game for someone trying a really cool skill, even if it didn’t come off in that moment.

2. I am curious about how we solve rugby problems together, so I might ask a lot of ‘what if we?, or how might we? Questions

3. I also love to see improvement, so I might move the rules of games a lot, to try to stretch and challenge us, or I might ask you for another level of detail on an answer, for the same reason.”

Practical, lived values, which walk the walk.

What have I learnt:

Walking values are infinitely more valuable than those on a page.

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Join us for the final webinar of the Summer series! Russell Earnshaw joins me on the 10th August. Rusty and I will chat all things coaching craft, and I can’t wait! Expect conversations around coach-player interactions and challenges

Click here to register for the Coaching Craft webinar on the 10th August

The webinar will be held on Zoom. In order to attend, please register using the link above. The webinars are available for subscribers and non-subscribers alike.

The recording will be available afterwards for paid subscribers.

Join in, bring your questions, get ready to boost your practice!

Quick reminder that all summer series webinars are free and accessible to everyone (subscribers and non-subscribers), any recordings are available to paid subscribers.

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I’m an assistant coach in a women’s rugby team. I was formerly head coach of the same team. My philosophy is to get women and girls playing whatever the format. Just get a rugby ball in their hands and get them enjoying it.

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I’m a neurodiverse coach and sometimes it affects how I am perceived. People may expect me to not be as capable. A lot of the time people actually forget, or don’t know enough about my condition and therefore I’m expected to perform to the same standard as a neurotypical person.

I’ve found my neurodiversity impacts my coaching in a few ways including:

• Organisational skills and prioritisation.

• Impulse control when dealing with the people management side.

• Rejection sensitive dysphoria - being incredible sensitive to constructive conversations as there is a deeply routed neurological belief that everyone already hates you and thinks you’re not up to it.

I’ve also found it has enhanced my coaching:

• I have a passion and excitement for my hyperfocus (rugby),

• It gives me problem solving skills, empathy and understanding of other neurodiverse people.

What I wish people knew

It’s a constant battle to be good enough. You have all of these things that neurotypical people can do with ease that you have to put double the effort in to, or just cant achieve sometimes.

You’re also battling your sensory needs. For example you may have a session where everyone is a bit loud/disruptive/giddy and if your sensory overwhelm is kicking in it can be hard to control the group professionally.

Neurodivergent people are already struggling in the world. A bit of kindness and understanding goes a long way to allowing them to be their authentic selves and build their confidence coaching. A confident coach benefits everyone as they coach better.

It’s been a long time since I did the formal RFU qualification (such as the level 2) but I find that CPD can be difficult to access. There’s a lot of hands on courses - rightly so- it’s a physical skill, but that can also have it’s own drawbacks.

For example, when booking CPD I might ask myself:

How am I feeling?

Can I cope being around people I don’t know right now?

How do I feel from a sensory perspective - i.e. can I do contact drills with people?

What is the environment going to feel like?

More e-learning and opportunities to do CPD in a more flexible way would be welcomed.

I would like to see neurodivergent champions within coach developer teams. This would be someone with lived experience. Diagnoses of neurodivergent conditions are on the rise because people (particularly women) flew under the radar as children.

1 in 5 people are neurodivergent, so in a coaching team including administrative staff, there’s probably already at least one neurodivergent volunteer within your group whether you’re aware or not.

Coaching for people with ADHD (which is my main diagnosis) is vastly different than for neurotypical people and requires specific skills. If the RFU are reading this- I accept the job!

It’s important to note that even though this is my experience of being neurodivergent, and although there are common symptoms and themes within each neurodivergent condition, it differs vastly person to person.

The best way to find out what your neurodivergent colleague needs is to ask them and be willing to understand and listen.

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A post with a difference this week.

I’m delighted to announce that I have partnered with Freedom4Girls. Finding allies within similar spaces is so important and I’m excited for the work to continue

Having them as an ally publicly as well as supporting each other offline and off pitch is so important.

To find out on periods and how to support players with their menstrual cycle (whether their teens or menopausal) you can watch the webinar on period-inclusivity:

In other news, I have now created a page and portfolio on the website that lists some examples of my consultancy, mentoring and coaching work.

You can find more details of ways you can work with me (online and in person) through that page. I can work with individuals as well as groups, keen to chat so please reach out.

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We have seen power and bias mainly through coaching decisions. For example - a previous coach ignored the team’s inclusive values and used selection as a way to favour people he personally liked, with the result that some players received minimal to no game time.

Older players, quieter players, and anyone who didn’t fit his idea of “real rugby” were sidelined. Complaints weren’t taken seriously, and he dismissed inclusion as “pandering”.

This situation made me lose trust in the coaching setup. It felt pointless trying to build an inclusive team culture when the person in charge didn’t believe in it. It also made me more protective of teammates who were being overlooked, and ultimately created a large rift within the team between the favoured ones, and everyone else.

It really hurt some of the players. One older player who was technically strong was repeatedly benched in favour of the coach’s preferred player, and it knocked her confidence.

Others barely got any game time and felt like they didn’t belong. We had frequent conversations with players that were considering leaving because they felt invisible.

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When people see bias and favouritism, they stop seeing rugby as welcoming. It makes the sport look cliquey and political, especially for women and gender‑diverse players who already face barriers.

This is especially true in a small town, where everyone knows someone. One dismissive comment can be mistaken for being an entire team’s ethos, which was certainly not the case.

A lot of it comes from people being put in positions of power without training or oversight. Some coaches bring old‑school attitudes, and at grassroots level, people often get away with things because there’s no real accountability.

Especially within the women’s game, and in regard to coaching, it is very much still a “you get what you’re given” type situation – and if you raise a problem with this, support to correct attitudes and issues varies greatly depending on the attitude of your Club as a whole.

Both Clubs and Teams need to be clear about their values and actually enforce them, in a cascade approach from the top, with no room for poor behaviour. Coaches should have training in inclusion and player development.

Complaints should be taken seriously, and there should be consequences when someone ignores the club’s ethos.

The Active Bystander training, and the RFU’s Speak Up are great resources for helping with this, but ultimately the problem is likely to remain a problem until people are comfortable with confronting these behaviours consistently at source.

What I would like to see

I’d like women’s grassroots rugby to have proper support, proper coaching standards, and a culture that values development, coming all the way down from top Executive levels.

I want players to feel valued, to get fair game time, and to have coaches who actually develop them. Everyone should feel like they belong, no matter their age, ability, or background.

I want coaches to have proper training in inclusion and player development, and to be held accountable when they misuse their role. Good coaches should be supported; bad behaviour shouldn’t be ignored.

As women, we place a lot of value on transparency. This can be translated into sport into transparency in selection, clear expectations around behaviour, and leaders who actually live the values they talk about. Bias thrives in silence — so the more open and accountable things are, the better.

Did you know there’s a paid subscription option for Coaching Care Creativity? None of the regular content is behind a paywall so your subscriptions or coffee clicks can help keep the content going. The subscriptions are £5 a month or £50 for the year. You can also buy me a one-off coffee for just £5.

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Walking rugby is on the rise across clubs. It’s a great way to get people down to your club.

It’s also a great tool to use in coaching sessions for players of all age ranges and abilities.

Here’s some ways you can use it and adapt it:

Manage the heat of the session

There’s been a major heatwave in the UK recently. Lots of training sessions were cancelled or modified. If you’ve had safety discussions and your training session is still on then using walking rugby can be a great way to manage players in the heat.

If you’re managing the heat of the session then try using a basic level of walking rugby to start:

• Players can walk with the ball

• If they get touch-tackled they stop and pass the ball to a teammate

• All passes must go backwards

If you’re wanting to include the game in a warm up, you can also add in activation exercises after a player has passed the ball.

Lower the intensity of contact

I’ve written about my approach to contact contact before and how I have used hugby.

You can also put players into a small tackle skill activity and ask them to have a walking pace to start to lessen the intensity. This allows players to build confidence as you increase the pace.

I love to use walking rugby in a game of hugby. The game tests the players ability to track and wrap a tackler as the players are moving. It’s a great way to test player’s tackle technique and it’s easily manageable from a safety perspective.

If you’re playing walking rugby hugby, here’s some ways you can level up the game:

• After a wrap is complete and the ball has been passed, the tackler completes a standing tackle on the ball carrier. This lessens the intensity of the tackle whilst allowing players to tackle and be tackled.

• When a player has been wrapped. The tackler releases the wrap and the ball carrier goes to ground and either presents or pops the ball. This allows the ball carrier to practice their fall and present in a game.

Focusing on a skill

One of the main benefits of walking rugby, apart from the scaled down intensity, is that it pressures players’ handling. When introducing walking rugby to players, I state this as a main benefit. This is often helpful if you have a group of players who might be skeptical to playing walking rugby.

Players cannot run onto the pass as easily when playing walking rugby. Therefore any passes thrown have to be accurate, as a team cannot rely on speed to make up for any inaccurate passes.

Try adding in the following rules to take the game up a level:

• Players have to pass 5 times before they can score

• A team using a loop earns a point

• Teams have 2 replays each they can use if a ball is dropped

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In this episode of Challenging the Game, Jess speaks to Kathryn Meadows, Female Athlete Health Specialist. They chat about the current landscape of teen sport, girls rugby and some of the female health topics that need to be included within practice and system change.

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Join Dan Lycett and I to chat about coaching contact on the 20th July. Dan brings his experiences from coaching a girls rugby team and from his role as Head of PE and Sports at St David’s College. We’ll explore approaches for coaching contact that work for all ages and abilities, including players with a low playing age.

Click here to register for the Coaching Contact webinar on the 20th July

The webinar will be held on Zoom. In order to attend, please register using the link above. The webinars are available for subscribers and non-subscribers alike.

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