Dear Jess
A letter to my younger self.
I’m writing this letter as a way of reflecting on my coaching practice so far. I imagine I’m writing it to the version of myself that’s just about to embark on an official coaching role.
This was several years ago, when I became assistant coach of the Huddersfield Hornets (the local women’s university team)
Dear Jess,
What a journey you’re about to embark on. I’m excited for you. You’re going to learn and your self-confidence will soar.
The first season of officially coaching will be tough but enjoyable. You’ll find yourself thinking about how to navigate week to week, session to session. Often more reactive than proactive.
You’ll also copy and paste methods and ways of acting from your experiences of coaching. All of that is ok. It’s a necessary part of finding your practice as a coach.
You’re going to feel like you’re being pushed into the deep end at times. They’re important leaps to make.
Helping the university team win varsity for the first time in the team’s history is a very special moment. One you will cherish for a long time.
The team will also get promoted, in that season you’ll begin to learn about mental skills and supporting individuals through matchday pressures.
During this time, you’ll also set up two women’s teams. Using the university team as a pathway for one set up, you’ll oversee a larger programme and learn about balancing a wide range of players’ wants and needs.
You’ll begin to write about coaching. You’ll also coach in different environments: schools, university, club women’s, club mens, boys’ pathway and girls’ pathway.
Make sure you reflect on the learnings from each of these environments and enjoy each of the moments.
The journey you’re about to embark on is not without it’s tough moments.
When Covid arrives, it’s the first of many challenges you’ll encounter. Lockdowns enable you to put time into learning more about coaching and making connections with people.
The restrictions and phased return to 15-a-side rugby gives you freedom to think creatively around session design.
There are difficult moments that arise from bias towards female coaches, or the lack of female coaches. You’re assumed to be a physio, parent, anything other than a coach.
Referees will come and attempt to put their arm around you or tell the team where they need to develop. Advice they don’t give out to your male counterparts.
Over the years, you’ll face verbal abuse. I’m writing this to you wishing you weren’t going to face those aspects of the journey.
Some of the most difficult moments arise from coach education. I won’t lie to you, it’s difficult and you think about quitting but you never do.
Your support network is what helps you through it. Cherish it. You’ll have amazing experiences and make connections with people in the UK and the other side of the world.
To have people you can lean on is special. Say yes to every networking opportunity and connection. Your love of learning will serve you well in coaching.
Your beliefs, you ways of working and who you are, make YOU as a coach. Don’t ever shy away from your USP.
Every step that you’re about to take helps you become a better coach and a better person. Ensure that everyone feels welcome in this sport, like you did many years ago in that photo!
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