Power and biases: a female player shares their story
The next article in a series with anonymous contributors. A female player speaks about their experiences of power and bias within rugby.
From my experience as an older female player for my local club, I have had several comments directed my way. I would like to say the majority have come from men, but the reality is that it's an even split between men and women.
They don’t seem to understand why I play. I've been asked: "Aren't you too old to play?" "Do you actually play contact where you get tackled?" "Why would you do that, you're not built like the men?" "But if you get hurt what happens to the kids?" "Oh, you're too pretty to play that sport".
Alongside these comments there was also an expectation that my commitment to my club will come second to my partner’s sporting commitments, or my childrens’ needs and commitments, or just anything in my family life.
From people outside of my team or from those who have never played rugby, I've never been perceived as doing anything serious. It’s seen as it's just a bit of fun where the girls can get together for a gossip.
This pushes me to show my children how important rugby is to women as much as men and kids. All love of sport, no matter who you are or what you play, is a priority.
I've also seen a difference in the way female coaches are reacted to in comparison to male coaches. From my own experience, I have seen male coaches lead a session and nothing they say or give us is questioned and is done.
I saw a female coach be constantly questioned. The activities and game formats were challenged repeatedly, with other sources of doing things being brought up in the conversation.
It felt very much that she had to constantly prove her qualifications and experience to some team members and this was never the case with male coaches.
I feel that within a grassroots club, the drive and passion to support women to get into rugby and find a love for the sport is huge. However there are still many barriers and stereotypes, from men and women, towards women in rugby and they need to be broken down.
I would like female players and coaches to be perceived as equal, not the same, but equal to the male players and coaches. I think the biggest area to be addressed is inequality.
It’s inequal in terms of resources available to the female sports, money invested in the female sport, respect given, positions and opportunities within the sporting industry, coverage, wages, contracts and benefits to both players and coaches.
I think this is more challenging to achieve because in general I think women's sport is seen as the poor relative to the males who play the same games. While we are seen as "just having a hobby", "it's a nice little run out" or "they don't tackle properly because they'll get hurt", then we won't be seen as equal.
If a women's game is being hosted then they should have access to the club’s physio team, the well maintained pitches and a clubhouse that stays open for them and supporters after each game. This happens when a men's first team plays.
When organising games there are often a pool of referees that can be used for the males fixtures, but often the women's team has to spend weeks or months trying to find someone to referee their game.
I've witnessed male coaches supporting each other across the multiple men's teams and coming together for the good of the sport, but not including the female coach at the same club.
I want male and female coaches to all have the same access to the same resources and work as one coaching team for the love of their club and the sport, regardless if it's a men or women's team.
If I was to start a new club, I would want:
Women's and men's team to get the same exposure on social media to recruit to both teams.
Events for the women's team, men's team and joint events. I would like the men to support the women's events and vice versa.
Same kit for all teams (it may look different but the offering of shirts, shorts, socks and training kit should be provided)
Coaches to work collaboratively and support all teams.
Female changing rooms/toilets to be equipped with sanitary products
Changing rooms for babies to be available for players, coaches and visitors to access.
Physios with experience in how women's health can impact players.
All male staff at the club to be male allies and advocates for the women's team and vice versa.
Club/team pictures to include all players
Womens (players and coaches) achievements to be recognised alongside the men.
In an ideal world, all women should have the same opportunity to play a sport they love and be supported and unchallenged in doing so.
We all love the sport and the family and community that comes with it, so we should all be equal to enjoy it and be part of something special.
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